So in 2013, a unique game came out called Surgeon Simulator by Bossa Studios. Well, I don’t think they get much more indie than I Am Bread.
But I like to switch between an “AAA” title and an indie title. I don’t know why, but I try to avoid only playing AAA titles, and looking at my list I’ve done a fantastic job. I say them entirely too often, but it’s also one of the reasons I think I have an interesting list of reviews. “Let’s play something completely different.” Oh, those words. I am bread.Also Available on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, macOS, iOS and Android. You can be a cat or a duck or a goat or a rock in a videogame! You can be all kinds of things! You can be bread. We live in an age of endless possibilities, especially when it comes to possibilities that don’t better civilization in any mountable way or save the planet from its inevitable ghoul-faced doom. Instead it feels like an initial lurch, and something to return to for the bold or failed at again. If something had given, something made a little more lax, then it would have felt more balanced. The story mode, where time, skill and cleanliness are all factors feel too tightly wound around a Madball.
#I AM BREAD FREE#
There are other endearing modes: free roam, a destruction based one, Bagel Race. I am the worst slice of bread you’ll ever meet. I am going to dump this bowling ball on your television set.
Mysterious owner, I am going to smash all of the beer bottles on your nightstand. Lowered an escape rope from above and proceeding to crash the helicopter on purpose. The game gave me an E rating for the level. I wanted whoever was going to eat me to find me like that, ant-flavoured and ready to cut the bullshit. I picked up a knife, and even if it meant sacrificing one of my little grippin’ hands, it was worth it. I returned to the litter box and sat in that thing like it was a Jacuzzi. I wanted to be the bug juice at summer camp, spat in and salted to see if the teen counselor would prove to be a chump.
I romped around in filth and smashed glass while skipping. I coated myself in a layer of grime, fish bones, egg shells and live bugs. Perfect timing, because I could no longer give a shit. After failing to make my way to a toaster multiple times, a magical jar of marmalade appeared to cut me a break, it granted me invincibility and infinite grip. The tough-love relationship between your movement and the camera angle helps no one’s patience. Your grip meter isn’t much more generous, making wall climbing feel not only routine but something you’d rather skip having to do. The dirtiness damage ramps up quickly for an edible without a brain, you are asked to think fast. It hits that blend, but not without admitting to its mistakes instead of fixing them. It also wants to be a daunting challenge, something daring to be sped-run. The story revolves around accidentally driving the owner of the home to seek therapy. It wants to be a dope like its peers Amazing Frog, Octodad and Goat Simulator, giving you a playground of nonsense toys to break. I am Bread is hoping for the best of a couple worlds, tough and silly, white and whole wheat, rye and ciabatta. Perfect timing, because I could no longer give a shit The floors and walls between you and that toaster feel bigger and more despicable and much dirtier. You can only grapple your way around, like the squiddly-doos of Octodad and Mount Your Friends, but you also have limited grip. Your little slice of life has many limitations. This was the most entertaining of my attempts. I break a jar of strawberry jam open, and upon latching on to one of the shards, the kinetic energy of the game’s rubber-band physics launched me straight through the air, across the room, netting me an achievement and landing me into a litter box.
#I AM BREAD FULL#
It isn’t full of deathtraps but it does have dirt, ants, dust. I am bread, and I am terrible at being bread.īetween me and the toaster is a kitchen. I am that-I don’t know-goat, from Goat Simulator, bringer of destruction and schadenfreude. I am Luxo Jr., the animated and curious Pixar office lamp that makes something you buy from Staples-an empathic character through its motion. I am determined to become toast, find a heat source so as to roast my buns and become a part of this balanced breakfast. I am a slice of bread, wedged in between the bulk of the loaf and that weird end piece your dad eats.
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